Pacifist
Someone who punches you on the nose
peacefully |
Paddock
Where horse ships dock |
Painful
A glass house (Please remember that
people who live in glass houses should undress in the
basement) |
Palatable
Tasty table for monsters to eat |
Palaver
A kind of sweater |
Pantry
The room where you keep your underwear |
Pants
What trousers do on a long run up
a steep hill |
Paperweight
Heavy school bag |
Parachute
A double-barrelled shotgun |
Paradox
Two doctors |
Parapet
Pet parrot kept by parachutist |
Paratrooper
An army drop out |
Parity
Two parrots exactly the same |
Parking
Space
Always filled with somebody else's
car |
Partial
Eclipse
Half trimmed edge |
Party
Dad's supper |
Password
Hand a note to someone in class |
Pasteurise
Too far to see |
Pavement
Artist
Someone who draws pictures on his
knees |
Pea
A vegeta-pill |
Pebble
Dash
Running with a stone in your trainer |
Pedigree
Degree for posh dogs |
Pen
Friends
Pigs that get on well together |
Perch
Fish kept in a cage |
Perspex
Plastic spectacles |
Pharmacy
The science of agriculture |
Phoney
Fake mobile phone |
Phonograph
A chart used by the Post Office
to record telephone sales |
Physicist
A man who make ginger beer |
Physiotherapy
Medicine mixed with lemonade |
Picador
Select an entrance to a bullfight |
Pickle
A cucumber in a spot of bother |
Pigeon-Toed
Half pigeon, half toad |
Pigment
Paints for pigs |
Pigswill
How a dead pig leaves things to
his family |
Pillar
Box
What posties sleep on at night |
Pillow
Headquarters |
Pine
What sad fir trees do |
Ping-Pong
Table tennis played by skunks |
Pipecleaner
A toothpick wearing long woolly
underwear |
Pizzicato
Pizza for cats |
Plasma
Mum made by a plastic surgeon |
Plus
Fours
Trousers worn by maths teachers |
Pofaced
The way you are supposed to look
reading serious poetry |
Politics
A parrot that's swallowed a watch |
Pole
Vault
Where the expensive poles are locked
away |
Polygamist
A parrot with more than one wife |
Polygon
A dead parrot |
Polystyrene
Plastic parrot |
Pontoon
Song sung by card players |
Populace
Frilly material that people like |
Porcupine
An unhappy slice of bacon |
Portable
A cheap piece of furniture to eat
off |
Posse
A cat from the Wild West |
Poultry
A tree that chickens like roosting
in |
Prawn
One of the small pieces used in
the game of chess |
Prickly
Pear
Two hedgehog |
Printer
A man of letters |
Professor
A textbook wired for sound |
Propaganda
A well behaved and upper-class goose |
Prune
A plum that's seen better days |
Psychiatrist
Someone who doesn't have to worry
as long as other people do |
Puddle
What a cross-eyed teacher can't
control |
Pupils
What you find on the pavement when
it has been raining cats and dogs |
Punch
Line
End of a boxing joke |
Putty
Miniature golf |
Pygmy
A tiny pig ( Shakespear wrote about
one in his play Hamlet) |
Pyramid
An organised pile of Egyptian rocks |
