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What does a polite vampire say? 'Fang you very much.'

What is a vampire's favourite fruit? Blood oranges.

What is a vampire's second favourite fruit? Neck-tarines.

How does a vampire get through life with only one fang? He has to grin and bare it.

Where does a vampire take a bath? In a bat tub.

What's a vampire's favourite dance? The vaults.

What's a vampire's second favourite dance? The fang-dango.

What's pink, has a curly tail, and drinks blood? A hampire.

Why are vampires sometimes called simple-minded? Because they're known to be suckers.

Where does a vampire save his money? At the blood bank.

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