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How did the patient get to the hospital so fast? Flu.

How do mice kiss? Mouse-to-mouse (mouth-to-mouth).

How do mummies behave? In a grave manner.

How do you keep a rhinoceros from charging? Take away his credit cards.

How do you know that carrots are good for the eyes? Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing eyeglasses?

How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat of a car? Make him sit up front.

How does a snake feel when he sheds his skin? Snaked.

If a buttercup is yellow, what colour is a hiccup? Burple.

If a telegraph operator from California married a telephone operator from Arizona, what would they become? A western union.

If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an astronaut get? Missile toe.

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