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When does a police dog not look like a police dog? When it is an undercover agent.

When is it polite to serve milk in a saucer? When you feed the cat.

Where do tough chickens come from? From hard-boiled eggs.

Which hand should you use to stir tea? Neither. It is better to use a spoon.

Who is Count Dracula's favourite person on a baseball team? The bat boy.

Who supervises children when they play games? The game warden.

Why are Egyptian children good children? Because they respect their mummies.

Why are vampires unpopular? Because they are a pain in the neck.

Why did the elephant wear sunglasses? With all the silly elephant riddles around, he didn't want to be recognised.

Why did the farmer plant sugar cubes? Because he wanted to raise cane.

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