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Did you hear the story about the burp? Never mind. It's not worth repeating.

How are a bad boy and a canoe alike? They both get paddled.

How can you calm down an angry dragon breathing smoke and fire? Throw water at him and he will let of steam.

How can you get rich by eating? Eat fortune cookies.

How can you keep a barking dog quiet? With hush puppies.

How can you tell if an elephant has been in the refrigerator? By the footprints in the butter.

How can you tell if there is an elephant in the refrigerator? The door won't shut.

How can you tell if there is an elephant sleeping in your bed? Look for peanut shells.

How did the girl zombie know the boy zombie liked her? He said, "You really kill me."

How do you know if a soda is any good? A little swallow tells you.

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