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Why did the monster walk over the hill?
It was too much bother to walk under it.
Mr Monster: Oi, hurry up with my supper.
Mrs Monster: Oh, do be quiet - I've only got three pairs of hands.
FIRST MONSTER: We had burglars last night.
SECOND MONSTER: Oh, did you?
FIRST MONSTER: Well, it made a change from slime on toast.
What sort of soup do monsters like?
One with plenty of body in it.
MUMMY VAMPIRE: Jimmy, hurry up and drink your soup before it clots.
MICKEY MONSTER: Look Mum, I've brought a friend home for lunch.
MOTHER MONSTER: Good! Well, shove him in the oven.
MONSTER TO DAUGHTER: You know, you really should be looking for an edible young bachelor.
What eats its victims two by two?
Noah's shark.
Father monster: Johnny, don't make faces at that man.
I've told you before not to play with your food.
Waiter on ocean liner: Would you like the menu, sir?
Monster: No thanks, just bring me the passenger list.
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