How do they count to
47?
They take off their socks and count their toes.
Why are most monsters
covered in wrinkles?
Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
Monster: I'm so ugly.
Ghost: It's not that bad! Monster: It is! When my grandfather was born they passed out cigars. When my
father was born they just passed out cigarettes. When I was born they simply passed
out.
Why did the monster
take a dead man for a drive.in his car?
Because he was a car-case.
What did they say about
the aristocratic monster?
That he was born with a silver shovel in his mouth.
Why did the monster
drink ten liters of antifreeze?
So that he didn't have to buy a winter coat.
What's the best way
of stopping a monster sliding through the eye of a needle?
Tie a knot in his neck.
Why was the sword-swallowing
monster put in prison?
He coughed and killed two people.
A little monster was
learning to play the violin. "I'm good, aren't I?" he asked his big
brother.
"You should be on the radio," said the brother. "You think I'm that good?"
"No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch
you off."
