What's the quickest
way to escape from a monster?
Run!
What is a monster who
is married with seven children called?
Daddy.
What do you give a seasick
monster?
Plenty of room!
When is a bogey-man
most likely to enter your bedroom?
When the door is open.
BOY MONSTER: What would
you like for your birthday, sis?
GIRL MONSTER: I'd love a frock to match the colour of my eyes. BOY MONSTER: All right, but where am I going to get a bloodshot dress?
'Here's a good book,'
said the sales assistant in the book shop to Mrs Monster.
'How To Help Your Husband Get Ahead.' 'No, thank you,' said Mrs Monster. 'My husband's got two heads already. . .'
A very tall monster
with several arms and legs, all of different lengths, went into a tailor's shop.
'I'd like to see a suit that will fit me,' he told the tailor.
'So would I, sir,' said the tailor. 'So would I.'
If storks bring human
babies, what bring monster babies?
Cranes.
Did you hear about the
two-headed monster at the freak show who went on strike for more money?
He claimed he had an extra mouth to feed.
