Long monster joke archive

Long Monster Jokes

Three monsters called Manners, Mind-Your-Own-Business and Trouble were on a day's outing from the circus, when all of a sudden Trouble went missing. Being good friends of his, Manners and Mind-Your-Own-Business decided to report Trouble missing.

When they got to the police station, Manners got frightened and decided to stay outside. Mind-You-Own-Business went in to report the loss. The desk sergeant asked him his name, to which the monster replied, 'Mind-Your-Own-Business.'

The desk sergeant crossly said, 'Where's your manners?'

Mind-Your-Own-Business replied, 'Outside.'

On hearing such rudeness, the desk sergeant said, 'Are you looking for Trouble?'

to which Mind-Your-Own-Business quickly replied, 'Yes, please!'

A woman with a baby in her arms was sitting in a station waiting room, sobbing miserably. A porter came up to her and asked what the trouble was.

'Some people were in here just now and they were so rude about my little boy,' she cried. 'They all said he was horribly ugly.'

'There, there, don't cry,' said the porter kindly. 'Shall I get you a nice cup of tea?'

'Thank you, that would be nice,' replied the woman, wiping her eyes. 'You're very kind.'

'That's all right. Don't mention it,' said the porter. 'While I'm at it, by the way, would you like a banana for your little gorilla?'

A monster walked into a hamburger restaurant and ordered a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate milkshake. When he finished his meal he left $10 to pay the bill.

The waiter, thinking that the monster probably wasn't very good at adding up, gave him only 50 cents change. At that moment another customer came in.

"Gosh, I've never seen a monster in here before," he said. "And you won't be seeing me again," said the monster furiously, "not at those prices."

Dr Frankenstein was sitting in his cell when suddenly through the wall came the ghost of his monster, with a rope round his neck.

Frankenstein said, "Monster, monster, what are you doing here?"

The monster said, "Well boss, they hanged me this morning so now I've come to meet my maker."

There once was a snake named brake
Who started a flight with a rake.
It cut off his tail
brake went very pale
And that's the short end of my tale.

Long Monster Jokes

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