He went to the doctor because
he didn't feel well. "What do you eat?" asked the doctor.
"For breakfast I have
a couple of red snooker balls, and at lunchtime I grab a black, a pink and two
yellows. I have a brown with my tea in the afternoon, and then a blue and another
pink for dinner."
"I know why you are
not feeling well," exclaimed the doctor. "You're
not getting enough greens."
A blind rabbit and a
blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched
the rabbit and said, "You're soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must
be a rabbit."
The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and said, "You're slimy, beady-eyed
and low to the ground. You must be a math teacher."
Two policemen in New
York were watching King Kong climb up the Empire State Building. One said to the
other, "What do you think he's doing?"
"It's obvious," replied his colleague, "he wants to catch a
plane."
FIRST HUMAN BOY: Why
do you keep throwing bunches of garlic out of the window?
SECOND HUMAN BOY: To keep the vampires away.
FIRST HUMAN BOY: But there are no vampires around here.
SECOND HUMAN BOY: Jolly effective, isn't it?
A man thought he had
swallowed a monster, and nothing his doctor said would make him change his mind.
So, finally the doctor gave
him an anaesthetic and put him into a deep sleep. When he woke up, the doctor
was standing beside his bed, holding a great big green monster on a lead.
'Nothing more to worry about,'
he said. 'We operated on you and took him out.'
'Who are you trying to kid?'
said the man. 'The one I swallowed was a blue one.'
