Darren: I'm so tired I feel like an old sock.
Sharon: I thought there was a funny smell in here!

A rather stern aunt had been staying with Sharon's parents and one day she said to the little girl, 'Well, sharon, I'm going home tomorrow. Are you sorry?'
'Oh yes, Auntie,' replied Sharon, 'I thought you were going today.'

Gemma: I've been told I look just like an Italian dish.
Emma: You do.
Gemma: Really? Sophia Loren? Gina Lollobrigida?
Emma: No, spaghetti bolognese.

Sharon: I'm so homesick.
Sheila: But this is your home!
Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it.

'What shall we play today?' said Theresa to her best friend Emma..
'Let's play schools,' said Emma.
'OK,' said Theresa. 'But I'm going to be absent.'

Cookery teacher: Helen, what are the best things to put in a fruit cake?
Helen: Teeth!

Emma: I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday.
Gemma: Why don't you?
Emma: Because I can't think of a single thing to say!

Helen: Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?
Mum: No, dear, what ?
Helen: A nice teapot.
Mum: But I've got a nice teapot.
Helen: No you haven't. I've just dropped it.