Trevor: That's a cool pair of stockings you have on Jill. One red and one green.
Jill: Yes, and I have another pair just like it at home.

'Can you lend me $1,000?'
'I only have $800.'
'That's all right You can owe me the other $200.'

Brother: Where was Solomon's temple ?
Sister: On either side of his head.

Mum: How did you do in the grammar test ?
Kate: Great, mum. I only made one mistake and I seen it as soon as I done it.

Little Susie stood in a department store near the escalator, watching the moving handrail.
'Something wrong little girl?' inquired the security guard.
'Nope,' replied Susie, 'just waiting for my chewing gum to come back.'

John: I'm going to cross a galaxy with a frog.
Sharon: You'd better not. You'll be sorry.
John: Why?
Sharon: Don't you know what you'll get ?
John: No. What ?
Sharon: Star warts.

Why did you refuse to marry Richard, Tessa ?
COs he said he would die if I didn't and I'm just curious.

Mandy was applying for a summer job.
'How old are you?' asked the owner of the store.
'I'm twelve years old, Sir,' answered Mandy.
'And what do you expect to be when you grow up ?'
'Twenty one, Sir.'

Science teacher: Can you tell me one substance that conducts electricity, Jane ?
Jane: Why er......
Science teacher: Wire is correct.

Why are you crying, Janie?
Because my new tennis shoes hurt.
That's because you put them on the wrong feet.
Well, they're the only feet I have.