Girl: How much is a soft drink ?
Waitress: Fifty cents.
Girl: How much is refill ?
Waitress: The first is free.
Girl: Well then, I'll have a refill.

The second grader was in bed with a cold and high temperature. 'How high is it, Doctor?' she wanted to know.
'One hundred and three,' said the doctor.
'What is the world record?'

A girl rushed into the doctor's office and said, 'Doctor, I think I'm going crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my left ear.'
'So you have,' said the amazed doctor. 'How can such a thing happen?'
'I can't understand it,' said the bewildered girl. 'I planted a cabbage.'

Cindy: My kitten likes to drink lemonade.
Kim: Boy, he sure must be a sourpuss.

Suresh: Whatever will Clive do when he leaves school ? I can't see him bright enough to get a job.
Sandra: He could always be a ventriloquist's dummy.

Little Sheila's mother was on the telephone to the girl's dentist. 'I don't understand it,' she complained, 'I thought her treatment would only cost me $20, but you've charged me $80.'
'It is usually $20, ma'am,' agreed the dentist, 'but Sheila yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away!'

Teacher: Didn't you know the bell had gone ?
Silly Sue: I didn't take it, Miss.

'Mary,' said her teacher. 'You can't bring that lamb into school. What about the smell ?'
'Oh, that's all right, Miss,' replied Mary. 'It'll soon get used to it.'

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away ?
Because it had a hole in the middle.

Jennifer: Are you coming to my party ?
Sandra: No, I ain't.
Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not ain't. It's I am not coming, he is not coming, she is not coming, they are not coming.
Sandra: Blimey, ain't nobody coming ?