There was a young lady from Hyde
who ate some green apples and died.
The apples fermented
inside the lamented
and made cider inside her inside.

Our favourite teacher, Miss Rockey,
wanted to train a jockey.
But, sad to recall,
she grew far too tall.
So now she teaches us hockey.

There was a young girl from Hyde
who fell down a hole and died.
Her unfortunate mother
tripped up on another
and now they're interred side by side.

There was a young cannibal from Kew
whose girlfriend said. 'I'll be true,
but please understand
that along with my hand
the rest of me come with it, too'

A javelin thrower called Vicky
found the grip of her javelin sticky.
When it came to the throw
she just couldn't let go -
making judging the distance quite tricky.

There was a young lady one fall
who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
and burned her entire
front page, sporting section and all.

There was a young lady from Niger,
who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
They returned from the ride
with the lady inside,
and the smile on the face of the tiger.

There once was a lady named Perkins
who simply doted on gherkins
they were so nice
she ate too much spice
and pickled her internal workins.

There once was a lady named Lynn
who was so uncommonly thin,
that when she assayed
to drink lemonade,
she slipped through the straw and fell in.

There once was a man from Great Britain
who interrupted two girls at their knittin'.
Said he with a sigh,
'That park bench, well I
just painted it right where you've sittin.'