Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with ?
The girl necks door.

When a blonde goes to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat ?
Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row

'Now remember, girls,' said the science teacher. 'You can tell a tree's age by counting the rings in a cross section. One ring for each year.'
Alice went home from school and found a chocolate roll on the table. 'I'm not eating that, mum,' she said. 'It's five years old.

Two little girls at a very posh school were talking to each other. 'I told the chauffeur to take his peaked cap off in case the other girls here thought I was a snob,' said the first.
'How strange,' said the second, 'I told mine to keep his on in case anyone thought he was my father.

Some girls who are the picture of health are just painted that way.

Two girls were talking in the corridor. 'That boy over there is getting on my nerves,' said Clarrie.
'But he's not even looking at you,' replied Clara.
'That's what's getting on my nerves,' retorted Clarrie.

Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to instil good table manners in her girls ? She told them, ' A well-mannered girl never crumbles her bread or rolls in her soup.'

Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Demi Moore appeared on the screen. 'If I ever stop hating girls,' said one to the other, 'I think I'll stop hating her first's

A little girl was next in line. 'My name's Curtain,' she said.
'I hope your first name is not Agnate ?'
'No, it's velvet !'