bedtime, bed and sleep jokes

Bedtime Jokes !

'Doctor, doctor, I wake up feeling terrible! My head spins and the room goes round and round!'
'You must be sleeping like a top!'

'Doctor, doctor, I walk in my sleep!'
'Remember to take money for the bus, then!'

Doctor, doctor, I'm always dreaming about cricket.'
'Don't you ever dream about girls?'
'What? And miss my innings?'

How can you shorten a bed?
Don't sleep long on it.

How can you tell if there's an elephant under your bed?
When the bed touches the ceiling.

How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
Rock-et.

How do you know if there's an elephant in your bed?
By the big E on his pyjamas.

How do you know when someone is sleeping like a log?
When you hear them sawing.

How else?
There are peanut shells all over the bed.

'I want a divorce.'
'Why?'
'My wife smokes in bed.'
It's not that bad, is it?'
'Yes it is. She smokes kippers!'

Bedtime Jokes !

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