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I bought this computer yesterday and I found a twig in the disk drive!
I'm sorry, Sir, you'll have to speak to the branch manager.
If you don't stop tapping away at that keyboard I think I'll go crazy.
It think you already have, I stopped using the keyboard an hour ago.
I've been on my computer all night!
Don't you think you'd be more comfortable on a bed like everyone else?
I've been sitting at this computer for hours and I haven't seen a single website.
That's because you're supposed to sit facing the screen.
Mum, Mum, Dad's broken my computer!
How did he do that?
I dropped it on his head.
PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?
Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net.
Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a choice of computers to use.
Teacher: You get a choice her, too. Use the one we've got or don't use any at all.
Teacher: Look at the state of the school computer. I want that screen cleaned so I can see my face in it!
Pupil: But then it will crack and we won't be able to use it at all.
Teacher: Shall I put the school computer on?
Pupil: No, Miss, the dress you're wearing looks fine.
This computer you charged me £950 for doesn't work....and you said it would be trouble free.
It is, I charged you £950 for the computer, but you're getting all that trouble absolutely free!
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