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Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.
Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out ?
Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing double.
Please sit on the couch.
Which one !
Doctor, Doctor I need something to keep my falling hair in
What about a matchbox !
Doctor, Doctor I’ve lost my memory!
When did this happen?
When did what happen?
Doctor, Doctor I'm having trouble with my breathing.
I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that !

Doctor, Doctor I've broke my arm in two places
Well don't go back there again then !

Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots ?
I never make rash promises !
Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking
Do you drink a lot?
Not really - I spill most of it!
Doctor, Doctor you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't feel well.
That's quite enough out of you !
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