The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
'Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am,' he said politely, ' but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread!'
'That's right.'
'Every day you wallop him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were hitting him with a chocolate cake....?'
'Well, today is his birthday!'

An irate woman burst into the baker's shop and said, ' I sent my son in for two pounds of cookies this morning, but when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest that you check your scales.'
The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then replied, ' Ma'am, I suggest you weigh your son.'

Doctor ! Doctor ! I think I'm going crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear.
Amazing ! so you have. How could that have happened ?
I can't understand it either, because I planted cabbage !

Dad: Why is your January report card so bad ?
Son: Well, you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas !

Why did Mr and Mrs Werewolf call their son Camera?
Because he was always snapping

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said,' Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.'
Bill wasn't impressed, ' Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it !

Young Jimmy was having a snack after school with his Gran. ' Would you like another cookie ?' she asked.
'Yes, please,' replied Jimmy.
'What good manners you have,' said his Gran. ' I do like to hear young people say 'please' and 'thank you'.'
'I'll say them both if I can have a big piece of that cake,' replied Jimmy !

A man whose son had just passed his driving test went home one evening and found that the boy had driven slap bang into the living room 'How did you manage to do that ?' he fumed.
'Quite simple, Dad. I came in through the kitchen and turned left !'

'Your son is horribly spoiled,' a concerned lady said to a proud mother one day.
'How dare you !' she retorted. 'my son's a perfect little gentleman.'
'I'm afraid you haven't seen what the steamrollers done to him !'