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Why do golfers carry a spare sock ? Because they might get a hole in one !

What book do you buy to teach children how to fight ? A scrap book !

What sort of animals make the best TV presenters ? Gnus - readers !

What sort of animal is best at getting up in the morning ? A Llama clock !

I hear you have just invented gunpowder ? Yes, I was using some candles to light my laboratory and it came to me in a flash !

How is your other invention coming along - you know, the matches ? Oh, they've been a striking success !

Why did the doctor take his nose to pieces ? He wanted to see what made it run !

Why is it dangerous to tell jokes to Humpty Dumpty ? He might crack up !

Why do pens get sent to prison ? To do long sentences !

What was the parrot doing in prison ? It was a jail-bird !

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