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Who are the happiest people at the football game?
The cheer leaders.
Why are birds poor?
Because money doesn't grow on trees.
Why are dogs experts on trees?
They have to be if they don't want to bark up the wrong one.
Why are jackasses good football players?
Because when they kick they seldom miss.
Why are lollipops like racehorses?
The more you lick them the faster they go.
Why are mountain climbers curious?
They always want to take another peak (peek).
Why are owls brave?
Because they don't give a hoot about anything.
Why are shaggy dogs useful to have around the house?
Roll them around the floor and you have a good dust mop.
Why aren't horses well dressed?
Because they wear shoes but no socks.
Why couldn't the dog catch his tail?
Because it is hard to make ends meet these days.
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