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Why do zombies learn Latin and Greek?
Because they like dead languages.
What did Dr Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's brain in the body of his dog?
I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines.
How do you know a zombie is tired?
He's dead on his feet.
What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road?
He was stopped for speeding, fined $50 and dismantled for six months.
How did Frankenstein's monster eat his lunch?
He bolted it down.
What does Frankenstein's monster call a screwdriver?
What do you call a clever monster?
Frank Einstein.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with the zombie?
He gave him the cold shoulder.
What did Frankenstein's monster say when he was struck by lightning?
Thanks, I needed that.
Monster: Someone told me Dr Frankenstein invented the safety match.
Igor: Yes, that was one of his most striking achievements.
Dr Frankenstein. How can I stop that monster charging?
Igor: Why not take away his credit card?
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