Why
do demons and ghouls get on so well ?
Because
demons are a ghoul's best friend !
What
do you get if King Kong sits on your best friend ?
A
flat mate !
Where
did Dr Jekyll find his best friend ?
In
Hyde Park !
John:
I'm going to cross a galaxy with a frog.
Jim:
You'd better not. You'll be sorry. John:
Why ?
Jim:
Don't you know what you'll get ? John:
No. What ?
Jim:
Star warts !
Farley:
Come on, Charley, I'll take you to the zoo.
Charley:
If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me !
My friend
is so stupid he thinks that an autograph is a chart showing
sales figures for cars!
The
young teacher was complaining to his friends about how badly
he was being paid. ' We get a really poultry amount each month,'
he said.
'You
mean paltry,' corrected one of his friends! 'No
I don't, I mean 'poultry',' replied the teacher. 'What I earn
is chicken feed!'
Two
friends who lived in the town were chatting. 'I've just bought
a pig,' said the first.
'But
where will you keep it?' asked the second. 'Your gardens much
too small for a pig!' 'I'm
going to keep it under my bed,' replied his friend.
'But
what about the smell?' 'He'll
soon get used to that.'
