School jokes

Teacher : Tommy, put some more water in the fish tank !
Pupil : Why, Miss, I only put some in yesterday and he hasn't drunk that yet !

Teacher : Were you copying his sums ?
Pupil : No Sir, just seeing if he got mine right !

Teacher : What are you reading ?
Pupil : I dunno !
Teacher : But you're reading aloud !
Pupil : But I'm not listening !

Teacher : Can anyone tell me what sort of animal a slug is ?
Pupil : It's a snail with a housing problem !

Teacher : What do we call the outer bark of a tree?
Pupil : Don't know Miss !
Teacher : Bark, silly, bark !
Pupil : Woof, woof !

Teacher : What is electrical on a telegraph pole ?
Pupil : Why-ER !
Teacher : Correct !

Teacher : What's happens to gold when it is exposed to the air ?
Pupil : It's stolen !

Teacher : Why do animals where fur coats ?
Pupil : Because they would look silly in plastic Macs, Sir !

Teacher : Make up a sentence using the word lettuce !
Pupil : Let us out of school early !

Teacher : You missed school yesterday, didn't you ?
Pupil : Not a bit !

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