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Mike and Pat went hunting. Mike saw a large goose fly by. He raised his rifle to shoot.
'Don't waste your time,' Pat hollered.
'The rifle is not loaded.'
'I can't wait,' Mike shouted back.
'The bird will be gone if I take the time to load!'
A city boy was on his first camping trip. He was eating his lunch under a tree when an old-timer came along.
'It smells like rain,' he said to the boy.
The city boy replied, 'They said it was lemonade.'
Have you ever hunted bear?
No. But I once went fishing in shorts!
John was hard at work with the broom in his family's tent.
His mother came in and said, 'That's nice. Are you sweeping out the tent?'
'No,' John answered. 'I'm sweeping out the dirt.'
Cindy and Mindy were walking through a field. Suddenly they saw a huge ball heading toward them. Cindy started shaking.
'Don't act so scared,' her friend said.
'I'm not acting!' Cindy muttered.
Terry and Debbie were camping with their parents deep in the woods.
'How far is it to town?' Terry wanted to know.
'Six miles,' said Debbie.
'That's too far to walk,' Terry replied.
'It's not too bad,' Debbie said. 'We can each walk three miles!'
George went fishing, but at the end of the day he had not caught one fish.
On the way back to camp, he stopped at a fish store.
'I want to buy three trout,' he said to the owner. 'But instead of putting them in a bag, throw them to me.'
'Why should I do that?' the owner asked.
'So I can tell everyone that I caught three fish!'
A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. 'Can you give me a room and bath?' he asked the clerk.
'I can give you a room,' the clerk said. 'But you'll have to take the bath by yourself!'
Dick and Bob were on a hunting trip. At nightfall, Dick complained, 'We've been hunting all day. We've shot at five deer - and not hit one!'
'OK. Let's miss two more and then head back to camp,' said Bob.
Bob: Did you hear about the camper who was killed by a garter snake?
Betty: That's impossible. A garter snake is not poisonous.
Bob: It doesn't have to be if it can make you jump off a cliff!
Are you fishing?
No I'm just drowning worms!
Scott was hiking in Utah when a bear suddenly appeared. The grizzly rushed at Scott. But it jumped too far and went over Scott's head.
Scott started running the other way. Again the bear caught up and jumped over Scott's head.
Finally Scott saw a tree and he climbed it.
When he looked down he saw the bear practising short jumps!
The Rocky Mountains are very big and far apart. It takes a long time for an echo to bounce back off one of these mountains.
One night, a camper in the Rockies went to sleep early. But before climbing into his sleeping bag he yelled, 'Time to get up.'
And eight hours later the echo came back and woke him up!
Dawn was breaking over the camp grounds. Tony and Steve were lying in their tent.
'That was a terrible thunder and lightening storm last night,' Tony announced.
Steve turned to him and said, 'Why didn't you wake me up? You know I can't sleep during a storm!'
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