fairy tale jokes

The Ugly Duckling Jokes
Did you hear about the two-headed ogre who got so angry that he was beside himself?
How does an ogre count to nineteen?
On his fingers!
Optician: "Have your eyes ever been checked?"
Ogre: "No, they've always been red!"
What did the dragon swallow that made him breathe fire?
A fire-engine!
What did the ogre get for his birthday?
Another year older!
What do you give an ogre with great big feet?
Lots of space.
What do you say to a three-headed ogre?
Hello, how are you today? Hello, how are you today? Hello, how are you today?
What is the difference between an ogre and a banana?
Bananas can't peel themselves!
What sort of pills do you give to a two-headed ogre?
Aspirin, because they are good for splitting headaches!
What was the Ugly Duckling after it was five days old?
A six-day-old Ugly Duckling!
What would you call a kind-hearted ogre?
A failure!
What would you do if you saw a family of ogres coming towards you?
Hope that they were going to a fancy-dress party!
Where do ogres dance?
At the odd ball!
Which side of the Ugly Duckling has the most feathers?
The outside!
Who goes out with an ogre?
His girl-fiend!
Why did everyone laugh when the ogre sat down to play the grand piano?
Because there wasn 't a stool!
Why did the clever dragon breathe fire?
Because he was a bright spark!
Why did the ogre cross the road single-handed?
To get to the second-hand shop!
Why did the Ugly Duckling stop preening himself?
He felt a little down in the mouth!
Why did the Ugly Duckling's parents fly south for the winter?
Because it was too far to walk!
Why do dragons sleep all day?
So that they can fight knights!
Why do ogres wear flowery embroidered braces?
To hold their trousers up!

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