fairy tale jokes

Jack And The Beanstalk Jokes
Do giants eat Englishmen with their fingers?
No, they eat their fingers separately!
How did Jack know how many beans his cow was worth?
He used a cowculator!
Jack stole a golden harp from the giant. Why couldn't he play it?
Because it took a lot of pluck!
Jack was always a grubby boy. You know what they say?
You can lead a boy to water but you can't make him wash!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fifi.
Fifi who?
Fifi fiefie fofo fum I smell the blood of an Englishman!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sarah.
Sarah who?
Sarah giant living here?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
There there ... giants don't cry!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Egbert.
Egbert who?
Egg but no chicken!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Godfrey.
Godfrey who?
Godfrey tickets to the Giant's Ball. Want to come?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Paul.
Paul who?
Paul the rope and raise the drawbridge please!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Hugh.
Hugh who?
Yoo-hoo yourself!
Never mind the golden eggs did you know that battery chickens lay electric eggs?
On which side of the house did Jack grow the beans?
On the outside!
The giant could smell an Englishman a mile away, so he knew that there was an intruder in the castle. The gates were locked, so how had Jack got inside?
Intruder window!
What did the beanstalk say to Jack?
Stop picking on me!
What do you call a contented giant?
One that's fed up with Englishmen!
What do you get if you cross Jack's chicken with a road-builder?
I don't know, but wherever it works the streets are laid with gold!
What goes: MUF OF EIF IF?
A giant walking backwards!
What is higher than a giant?
A giant's hat!
What is the difference between Jack and the dead giant?
One has beans, the other is a has-been!
What would you call a golden egg in a frying-pan?
An unidentified frying object!
Where was the first bean found?
On a beanstalk!
Where was the first beanstalk found?
Growing in the ground!
Which part of an Englishman does a giant find hard to swallow?
His stiff upper lip!
Why did Jack's cow have horns?
Because its bell
Why did the chicken lay golden eggs?
Because if she dropped them they would dent the floor!
Why didn't the giant have any teeth?
Because he slept with his head under the pillow and the fairies took them!
Why was there always a conversation going on in the garden?
Because Jack and the beans talk!
 

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