fairy tale jokes

Goldilocks And The Three Bears Jokes
What do you say when the three bears want to sit down?
Three chairs for the Three Bears!
What gave Goldilocks a troubled night's sleep?
Night-bears!
What made Goldilocks shiver?
Quaker Oats!
What steps do you take when a bear is chasing you?
Very big ones!
What's brown and hairy and can see just as well from either end?
A bear with its eyes shut!
What's brown, furry and has twelve paws?
The Three Bears!
What's the difference between Mummy Bear's porridge, Daddy Bear's porridge and Baby Bear's porridge?
Well, one is Mummy Bear's, one is Daddy Bear's, and one is Baby Bear's!
When Goldilocks spilt the milk, how did she mop it up?
She used a sponge-cake!
Where did Goldilocks fall asleep?
At the Three Bores house!
Which is the scariest fairy-tale?
Ghouldilocks and the Three Brrrrs!
Why did Goldilocks stir the porridge so vigorously?
Because Daddy Bear came in and told her to beat it!
Why wasn't Mummy Bear's porridge warm enough?
Because it was yesterday's!
Why weren't the porridge bowls round?
Because porridge is a square meal!
After the woodcutter chops a pile of logs, what happens to them at night?
They sleep like humans!
How many conkers grow on the average fir-tree?
None . . . conkers grow on horse-chestnut trees!
Which is the oldest tree in the forest?
The elder
What did the woodcutter's wife say to her husband in December?
Not many chopping days left until Christmas!
 

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