Last year in Yorkshire, it rained the kind of rain that makes your socks question their life choices. My three kids still wanted a proper trick-or-treat adventure, so we did what any sensible family does in a downpour: we made the candy bag the main event.
This is my go-to Halloween trick-or-treat tote craft: a reusable canvas bag covered in glow-in-the-dark ghost jokes and monster puns. It is simple, sturdy, and it gives kids something to giggle about while they wait at doors. Plus, if your child forgets to say “thank you,” the tote can quietly say “BOO!” on their behalf. Almost.
Time: 30 to 60 minutes of making (depending on how many ghosts you adopt), plus drying and curing time based on your paint.
What you will need
You can absolutely do this with what you already have. My crafting superpower is “found it in the recycling bin.”
- Plain canvas tote (light colour works best for glow paint)
- Glow-in-the-dark fabric paint or glow fabric medium plus acrylic paint
- Black fabric paint or a permanent fabric marker (for outlines and punchlines)
- Paint brushes (one small for details, one medium)
- Cardboard (to slide inside the tote so paint does not bleed through)
- Masking tape or painter’s tape
- Chalk or a washable fabric pencil (for sketching)
- Paper towels and a little water cup or jar
- Optional: sponge dabber, glow tape, googly eyes, fabric stickers, iron-on patches
Quick safety note: If little ones are helping, keep the paint bottles out of “taste test” range and use a table cover. I say this as a dad who once discovered a child can paint a sleeve while wearing the shirt.
Fast set up
- Slide cardboard into the bag. Make it snug and flat. This stops paint bleeding onto the back layer.
- Tape off a design area. I like a big front panel, plus a small “badge” on the bottom corner.
- Plan your layout. Choose 3 to 5 jokes or puns total. Any more and it becomes a spooky novel.
Step by step: glow ghost jokes
Step 1: Sketch the ghosts
Use chalk to draw 2 to 4 ghost shapes on the tote. Keep them chunky and simple, like friendly blobs with attitude. Add big oval eyes and a silly mouth. If it looks wonky, congratulations, you have captured the true spirit of Halloween crafting.
Step 2: Paint the glow layer
Paint the ghost bodies with glow-in-the-dark fabric paint. I usually do two thin coats rather than one gloopy coat, and let the first coat dry before the second. This often helps it dry more evenly and reduces cracking, but always follow the instructions on your specific paint.
Step 3: Add the joke bubbles
Instead of trying to write long jokes inside tiny ghosts, give each ghost a little speech bubble or sign.
- Paint a small glow rectangle or bubble next to each ghost. For doorstep readability, aim for at least palm-sized.
- Once dry, write the punchline with black fabric paint or a fabric marker.
Step 4: Outline for daytime pop
Glow paint can look pale in daylight, so outline the ghosts and speech bubbles in black. The bag will look bold in daylight and spooky-cool at night.
10 glow ghost jokes
Pick your favourites. I like using one-liners because they are readable in a torch beam while kids are hopping like caffeinated rabbits.
- What do ghosts eat for dinner? Spook-ghetti.
- Why did the ghost go to the party? For the boosic.
- What room do ghosts avoid? The living room.
- How do ghosts keep babies safe? With a boo-ster seat.
- Why was the ghost a great comedian? It had dead good timing.
- What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin. (Yes, I know. Still counts.)
- What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Sham-boo.
- Why did the ghost bring a map? It did not want to lose its boo-ring.
- What is a ghost’s favourite fruit? Boo-berries.
- How do ghosts travel? By scare-plane.
My dad tip: Keep the jokes short enough that your child can read them out loud at the doorstep. Maximum pride, minimal stumbling.
Monster puns for totes
This is the part where you let kids go full creature-creator. Big shapes, silly faces, and puns that make grandparents sigh dramatically.
Easy monster designs
- One-eye monster: A big circle eye and a zig-zag mouth.
- Furry blob: A round body with triangle teeth and too many eyebrows.
- Stompy feet: Two footprints leading up to a monster face near the top.
Monster tote phrases
- “I am here for the boo-ffet.”
- “Feed me sweets. (Please.)”
- “If lost, return to my monster.”
- “Trick or treat? I vote treat.”
- “Licensed to thrill… and snack.”
Drying and heat setting
Read the instructions on your specific paint, but here is the usual routine that works for many fabric paints:
- Air dry flat for at least 24 hours. Do not hang it up wet unless you enjoy surprise transfer marks and sticky handles.
- Heat set if required by your paint. Many fabric paints want an iron (no steam) with a cloth over the design. Keep the iron moving and follow the bottle directions.
- Important: Some brands are air-cure only, and some prefer dryer heat, so do not iron unless the label says you should.
- Wait before washing. If the tote needs a clean, give it a few days (or whatever your paint recommends). Then wash cool and gentle, inside out if possible.
If you skip heat-setting when it is needed, your ghost may become less “glow” and more “sad smudge.” Learn from my mistakes.
Glow tips
- Charge it with bright light before you head out. A strong lamp works well. Some paints glow after a few minutes, others want 10 to 30 minutes, so test yours once and you will know.
- Use thicker shapes for glow paint, not thin scribbles.
- Layer smart: glow paint on light fabric glows best. If your tote is dark, paint a white base layer first (fabric paint), then glow on top.
- Keep the glow areas clean: black paint over glow paint will block the glow.
Age tweaks
Preschoolers (3 to 5)
- Let them sponge-dab ghost bodies and add googly eyes.
- You write the jokes. They provide the dramatic ghost noises.
Early primary (6 to 8)
- They can outline monsters and write short punchlines.
- Try one big central ghost with 2 mini jokes around it.
Older kids (9+)
- Give them a theme: “all puns,” “all monsters,” or “silly scary.”
- They can design a border of tiny glow stars, bats, or slime drips.
Make it an activity
If you want to stretch this into a full afternoon, pair it with a game or another make.
- More holiday activities when you need ideas that work even in questionable weather.
- For a giggly party add-on, try funny photo booth props so kids can pose with their new tote.
- If your house becomes “the hangout,” you might enjoy Pass the Laugh as a low-prep group game.
Troubleshooting
The paint bled through
Add thicker cardboard next time and use less paint per stroke. For now, turn the “oops” into a feature by adding a matching design on the back.
The glow is weak
Do another glow coat if your paint allows it, then charge it under a bright lamp for a bit longer before you go out. Some glow paints need a proper soak in bright light to show off.
The writing looks messy
Outline letters with a fabric marker after the paint dries. Or embrace it. Nothing says “authentic kid craft” like a letter “S” that looks like a wiggly snake.
Quick joke sets
Set A: super simple
- “Spook-ghetti!”
- “For the boos!”
- “Boo-berries.”
Set B: monster mode
- “Feed me sweets.”
- “I vote treat.”
- “If lost, return to my monster.”
Set C: mixed and cheeky
- “Avoid the living room.”
- “Sham-boo.”
- “Licensed to snack.”
One last dad note
Halloween can get a bit “buy all the things,” fast. I love this tote because it is reusable, it gets kids involved, and it becomes part of the costume without costing the earth or taking over your living room.
And when your child is proudly swinging a glowing bag that says “Spook-ghetti,” you will know you have achieved peak parenting. Or at least peak dad humour. Same thing, really.
If you make one, I hope it is messy, bright, and full of terrible puns. That is the sweet spot.
