Kids Jokes

Party Host: Hello?
Phone Caller: I'm trying to reach a Ms. Nidiot. Her first name is Ima. Could you please ask if anybody at your party knows her?
Party Host: I'd be glad to. Please hold on. (shouts) Excuse me, but does anybody know Ima Nidiot?

Party Host: Hello?
Phone Caller: Hello. I'm trying to reach a Mr. Yuppyernose. He goes by his initials IC. Would it be too much trouble for you to ask your guests if any of them know him?
Party Host: Not at all. Hold the line please, (shouts) Hey, everybody! Do any of you know I.C. Yuppyernose?

Party Host: Hello?
Phone Caller; Hello! I'm trying to reach a Ms. Leavinsoon. Her first name is Yula Bea? Could you find out if anybody at your party knows her?
Party Host: Hey, everybody! Do any of you know Yula Bea Leavinsoon?
Party Guests: 'Bye!

Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay. You're an ambulance!

Caller: Operator! Operator! I don't know what's wrong with my phone, but I can't make long distance calls any longer!
Operator: Don't worry. Your long distance calls are long enough already!

Hello, honey? How about a date?
You want a date? Okay! How's 400 B.C.?

Hello? Is this the butcher?
Yup. Glad to meat you!

Fred: Hello?
Hello! Boy, have I got some really juicy gossip for you, Harry.
Fred: I'm sorry, this isn't Harry. You must have the wrong number. But anyway, what's the gossip?

Hello, police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away!
Sorry, this isn't the police station. It's the Delicatessen.
Oh. Well, in that case, please send over a pastrami sandwich!

Caller: Operator! Operator! What's the fastest way for me to get to the hospital?
Operator: Have you tried playing in traffic?