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Did you hear the story about the oatmeal?
Never mind. It's a lot of mush.
Did you hear the story about the piece of butter?
Never mind. I don't want to spread it around.
How do they dance in Arabia?
Sheik-to-sheik (cheek).
If a band plays music in a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning?
The conductor.
If you scratch a horse's hair on a cat gut, what do you get?
Violin music.
Phil played the harmonica so well he now plays with what symphony orchestra?
The Philharmonica.
What amusement park ride breaks up romances?
A merry-go-round. When the ride is over, people stop going around with each other.
What animals are poor dancers?
Four-legged ones, because they have two left feet.
What broadcasting company has the best horror shows?
The Ghost-to-Ghost network.
What dance did the Pilgrims do?
The Plymouth Rock.
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